Kintsugi of souls

I remember I asked him the day before I left: "What's the point of all of this?" He just smirked.

I could tell he was already gone too.

No answer, no comfort, no feelings. I was looking at his wretched face, I still remember the feeling.

The feeling of powerlessness.

The distress I felt.

The emptiness.

He brought all of that upon me and I wasn't even mad. I wasn't sad.

Hell, I wasn't even surprised. It always ends up like this.

I should've known better, but I took the fall once again.

Maybe this one is really on me.

"Could you just pretend that it wasn't all for nothing?" He asked.

I looked him dead in the eye and remained silent.

He was silent all the time, why shouldn't I return his little favor now?

I smile, but I'm absent. Now there's nothing you can hurt me with. You can talk all you need. Point a gun at me. Shout in my face. Hit me. You can't make me feel anything.

He glanced at me and he knew.

The spark from my eyes was gone.

"I really messed it up this time, didn't I?" He sighed with a face full of regret. "Don't we all mess up?" My eyes were swallowing his eyes, trying to find what is now lost. But I failed, miserably. Like I always do. "We all mess up. This time, it's not you who can fix it. But that's okay. Some things are not meant to be. The pain will end soon."

I had tears in my eyes, but my smile never faded.

I made peace with everything that was broken.

I know one day someone who has mastered Kintsugi of souls will come and help me glue back together what everyone thought was beyond repair.

And I'll cherish their gold forever.